Have you ever stared down a bathing suit with such intense disdain that it seems you could burn a hole right through it? Of course you have. I've held that stare many times at many items of clothing. And once, at the entire Brass Plum section of Nordstrom. (Whose body are they making these clothes for?! And why do they even bother labeling some of them "Large.") I once told the poor helpless attendant at Forever 21 that they needed to start carrying triple extra-large. I wasn't kidding.
So now that I am pregnant, things are .... better, for the most part. Weird, huh? I feel very "natural" being pregnant. Hard to explain, but I feel like all my little insecurities have taken a back seat to baby-making. I am doing what I am supposed to be doing, what I am built to do. Even the additional little dimples that have cropped up, unwelcome, in places that make no sense; those little marks are signs that things are changing. Stuff is happening!
Everyone has their insecurities. For me, its always been my belly. So it is strange that I love having this huge growing belly now. I look at it proudly and think, "ah, so this is what I was getting ready for. I made room for you, little baby!" Ha! If you are like me (constantly dieting or trying to eat right), you may have wished from time to time that you could just get off the treadmill, take a break, and eat what you want without counting every calorie.
Well, I've found the solution to your problem and its called Getting Pregnant!
Okay, just kidding. There is a "time out" aspect of pregnancy, but there is also a "holy moly your body is growing, stretching, and morphing to gigantic proportions" aspect too. Mentally, that is a lot to prepare for. You may tell yourself that your body NEEDS to grow, and those dimples are NOT going to stick around forever, but the fact is, it's not always so easy to convince yourself. It is not ALWAYS fun to watch your body morph to larger and larger proportions, don't get me wrong. I guess I've just gotten to a place where I am at peace with it.
Of course, there is another piece to this puzzle in my case. I happen to be married to a man who loves my growing body just the way it is, pre- or post-pregnancy. Jake is amazingly supportive. (This is where this blog post gets a little mushy....pardon me.) The other night as I was staring in wonder at my massive, swelling tummy, Jake said, "its just amazing what you are doing, what your body is doing." He is not the kind of person to get hung up on body issues - to him, its just all part of this amazing journey. We know that some things will spring back into shape, and some things will forever look a little different. I guess its a good metaphor for our whole lives from this point on, right?
One thing will be for sure: I am a lucky, lucky gal.
From the children's book, The Nativity. I love the pictures in this book - the way that Mary and Joseph stare at her growing belly - reminds me of us!