Not that Anyone Asked: My "Live" DVR Blog of the 64th Emmy Awards

My first "Live" Blog: written in chronological order (start at the top ... and see how long I last)

Intro skit: Loving the girl power here.  Kathy Bates, Mindy Kaling, Christina Hendricks (probs the hottest lady in America and bad ass too), and the naked girl from HBO's Girls.  So far so goo-- oh now they are punching Jimmy Kimmel in the face.  Can't say I've ever been a fan of normalizing violence, but ohhh....the Emmy's!  I can't quit you now!

Kimmel's monologue: FLAT!  What'r'ya? Scared??

Shout out to Lena Dunham!  26 years old and nominated for her first show in like, 10 categories.  Ugh, what have I done with my life?

Outstanding Supporting Actor-Comedy:  Yo!  Amy Poehler's boobs be looking HOT!  Girlfriend looks like she hasn't missed a beat.  Eric Stonestreet, I heart you in the heartiest of ways.

Writing in a comedy series:  I cannot overstate this: LOUIS CK IS A GENIUS.  He always sounds like a bumbling buffoon, but watch his show!  He makes you think.  He plants little thought bombs in your head.  He understands being a parent, in all its heart-wrenching beauty and utter hilariousness.  And that's just a small bit of it.  Anyways...

Outstanding Supporting Actress-Comedy: Well Modern Family will, once again, take over the world.

Best Guest Actor/Actress-Comedy: PREDICTION: Female-Melissa McCarthy, Male-Michael J Fox.   WRONG!  Kathy Bates & Jimmy Fallon.  Flurg.

Outstanding Lead Actor-Comedy: John Cryer?!  Why does everyone love 2 and a Half Men so much?  It's like one long, dick joke.  Ugh.  Ick.

Outstanding Lead Actress-Comedy: Amy Poehler, again, with the jokes.  And Julia Louis-Dreyfus is full of class.  Full. Of. Class.

Best Reality series: PREDICTION: Top Chef.  WRONG! Amazing Race.  Laaaame.  Who even watches that anymore?  I don't watch either one, though.  The only reality shows I keep up on are Big Brother and, what does that say about me?  (I love excellent programming.)

Tracy Morgan's bit as someone who passed out on stage ... ?  I don't get it.  But I like Tracy. 

Directing in a Drama Series: Martha Plimpton is wearing a strange lacy dress.  It can't decide if it is of the lingerie-meets-dress variety, or the long flowy variety with some lace.  Could have been worse.

Outstanding Lead Actress-Drama: Claire Daines always picks the very best dramas to get involved in, and then she just freakin ROCKS it.  Plus my heart goes out to her forever for her role in Romeo + Juliet and The Family Stone.  Random?  Well, they have a special place in my personal history.  But her pregnant look could have been MUCH better.  Rock the bump, ladies!

Outstanding Variety, Music, or Comedy Series: DAILY SHOW WINS AGAIN!  I appreciate the shout-out to The Colbert Report's coverage of Super PACs.  Very good stuff.  But am I bummed that DS wins a TENTH year in a row?  No.  The show is goooood y'all.  I watch it every day like the news.  Because it IS the news, only better.

In Memorium: Mike Wallace of 60 Minutes.  Dick Clark.  Wow.  Phyllis Diller passed just a few weeks ago.  How sad, to lose such a legend.  I just listened to a podcast in which she was interviewed.  One issue (which I've always struggled with) is the way Ms. Diller used female stereotypes to get a laugh.  It is tough.  On the one hand, she paved the way for female comedians.  On the other, she bought into the exact kind of BS that was keeping women in a second-class place to begin with.  A catch 22.  But can we agree that she paved the way?  And she was brave.  Perhaps she could have been braver?  Perhaps.  Couldn't we all?

So that's the gist.  Time for bed.  This has been fun.  And if you've made it this far, congratulations.  You are the coolest person in the world, and my new best friend.  Ha!